


Shiranai Love*Oshiete Love

by LuciaHunter



Series: Songs of Muse; Songs for You [3]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-24 05:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1592900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuciaHunter/pseuds/LuciaHunter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>HanaRin story. The two of them have been together since childhood, how will their relationship change in the face of their growing interests in each other? It's always darkest before the dawn, especially when it comes to love. Volume Three of my 'Songs of Muse; Songs for You' series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back to another of my fics, this time Volume Three of my 'Songs of Muse; Songs for You' series, themed after lily white's single which roughly translates to "I don't know love, Teach me love", featuring Hanayo and Rin.
> 
> I have to apologise beforehand. This is the one album that never caught my eye, and the one pairing of characters that barely anyone knows about. I feel I made an utter hash of it unlike my previous works, but I hope you can bear with it till the end. It is also Hanayo-centric so to my Rin fan(s), I'm sorry too. ^^"
> 
> Warning: Contains 'spoilers' for previous volumes. Please read 'Love marginal' first if you want the full experience.
> 
> Please enjoy.

_"Rin-chan! I have a question! What do you think of me?"_

_"Kayo-chin? Uhm... we're good friends?"_

_"Uwehhh?! I'm always by your side but... we're only friends?"_

_"Of course nya! We're the best friends ever!"_

The atmosphere couldn't possibly have been more tense between the two first-years as they walked along under the setting sun.

In all the years they had been together the pair had never been separated for long, but now Hanayo felt an impossibly wide chasm between her and Rin, who walked slightly ahead in utter silence. The catlike girl had been unusually reticent since they left the rooftop and parted with the second-years, as if she had realised she had said something incredibly bad.

But then, that would mean she understood the weight behind Hanayo's question earlier, wouldn't it?

Hanayo bit her lip as she kept her eyes down, looking at the road beneath her. Just one step after another, following in the wake of her best friend. That was how it had always been, right? So why was it so difficult this time round?

The brunette wanted to run away, more than anything else. Perhaps they should just part ways here, although the intersection where they normally split was still a few blocks up ahead.

"Hey, Kayo-chin. Wanna get some ramen together before heading home?"

A quiet question, devoid of its usual energy or verbal tic. Hanayo was startled enough to look up, but Rin was still facing ahead, looking away from her.

Her back had never seemed so far.

"... Okay."

* * *

"Tsuru tsuru~" the orange-haired girl was making plenty of noise as she dug into the steaming bowl of ramen placed in front of her. The pair were seated in the ramen store nearest their school, at the counter just across from where the chef bustled away.

The store was a familiar place to the two of them, who often stopped here after practice for dinner before heading home. Almost enough that the chef was starting to know them by name and their favourite foods. It was a pretty quiet evening in the store though, with only a business-man seated alone at the other end of the counter. Well, they did arrive slightly before the dinner crowd after all.

"Rin-chan, slow down or you might choke..." Once again, Hanayo found herself repeating the same words she always did whenever she ate together with her excitable best friend. And of course, her warning was never heeded.

But at least having her favourite food seemed to have restored some life into Rin, who was slurping animatedly with a look of bliss on her face.

With a quiet sigh, Hanayo turned her attention to her own, far smaller bowl of ramen.  _My words... can't reach her, huh?_

Picking up her own chopsticks, she began eating as well. Horribly bland and without taste. But she doubted she would've tasted anything even if she had gotten the deluxe beef ramen set instead.

At least this was a sanctuary of sorts for her, these few moments when they were both busy eating and neither talked. She had a few minutes in which she could sneakily stare at Rin's adorable face, so content with her ramen...

"Hmm? Kayo-chin isn't eating anymore? Do you want Rin to help you finish it?"

"Eeh!" Having been caught staring, Hanayo could only continue eating with her cheeks turning red.

All too fast the ramen was gone, and it was an uncomfortable silence that stretched between the two instead.

Hanayo began prodding her fingers together. What should she do? She couldn't think of any topic to talk about. Though this was the same girl she had spent most of her life up till now with, absolutely everything else just flew out of her mind... But it ended up being the orange-haired girl who broke the silence.

"About your question earlier Kayo-chin, Rin doesn't really know a lot about this kind of stuff."

Hanayo jumped at the chosen topic, blushing furiously. "Ah! No, it's-"

"No, listen. Rin only knows about having fun, sports, that kinda thing. Even being an idol was difficult for Rin, but Kayo-chin wanted to do it, so here we are. But it's been really fun. Every day, learning new songs and dances, all these things wouldn't be possible if it wasn't for Kayo-chin."

The timid girl tilted her head back up, looking into the other girl's eyes for the first time since they stepped they had left the school. Rin had a determined look on her face, absent of the cheer it usually had. Almost as if sensing the tense atmosphere despite facing away from the pair, the chef's clanking of pots dropped audibly in volume.

"But Rin knows a lot about ramen. And rice too, after all this time. And Rin knows that you can't eat both together for the same meal. That's just weird nya, don't you think so too?"

Time stopped for Hanayo while the words and their implied meaning slowly sunk in.  _Rin-chan thinks we... don't belong together?_

"Rin will see you tomorrow morning, okay?"

The automated door chimed as it opened, marking the exit of the orange-haired girl who left without a single look back. A cold wind blew in from outside, dropping the temperature several degrees in an instant before the door closed.

Frozen in her seat, Hanayo could only stare out the glass door, watching her best friend's back fade rapidly into the distance. The world was starting to blur around her.

A thud sounded when a teacup was placed in front of her, steam rising into the cold air.

"Don't take it too hard, kid."

Choking out her thanks, Hanayo felt her tears finally begin to flow.


	2. Chapter 2

The morning dawned slightly later than it should have, the sun casting its orange rays across the town that was slowly waking up. It was a Saturday, meaning most of the town's youth were taking it easy at their own pace and sleeping in.

Not the case for the members of Muse though, who were all up and ready to carry out their exercise routines as per normal. All of them, minus one particular ginger-haired girl...

"Honoka! That's enough sleeping!" Umi yelled as she pulled at the bedsheet which Honoka was hiding under. "We're going to be late to meet the rest!"

"Just five minutes more..."

"Absolutely not! Kotori, say something!"

"Eeeh, but Honoka-chan's sleeping face is so cute..." the brunette went over to the bedside, sitting beside it and gently stroking Honoka's hair.

With a dreamy smile that made it impossible to distinguish whether she was really awake, Honoka snuggled further towards her pillow and Kotori's hand.

"Kotori! You're too soft on her!"

"Shh..." Kotori hushed while she leaned over her girlfriend...

If Umi's eyes weren't deceiving her, Honoka's smile seemed to widen.

The brunette blew softly into Honoka's ear.

"Uwaaaaaah!" the ginger-haired girl shot up as she began scratching at her ear desperately to get rid of the lingering sensation. "Kotori-chan, that's mean!"

"See Umi-chan, you don't actually need to yell at Honoka-chan to wake her up." Kotori's voice was absolutely innocent, as well as the smile she delivered sweetly at the other two.

The archer could only slap her palm to her forehead in exasperation at her girlfriends' antics. At least, until Honoka leapt out of bed to hug both of them. "Umi-chan and Kotori-chan both came to fetch me for training? I'm so touched!"

"... Just go wash up and get dressed."

* * *

A few streets away at the shrine, though bathed in the same rays of the dawning sun, the atmosphere was unfortunately a lot less warmer.

"Rin-chan, good morning..."

"Oh, Kayo-chin. Good morning."

The two fell into silence. After what had happened yesterday evening, there was no small amount of awkwardness between them. Rin was back to lacking her usual energy, even though she looked more awake than she normally did in the morning.

As for Hanayo, there was no hiding her eye-bags or irises that were red from all that crying she had done last night. Not without a suspiciously large pair of sunglasses anyway.

Plucking up her courage, Hanayo tried to start a conversation while fiddling with the zip on her pink training outfit. "Are you okay Rin-chan? You look a bit tired."

"Hmm? Rin's fine nya. It's Kayo-chin who looks-" Rin began to reply, only to have her voice trail off as she turned her head downwards. "Sorry Kayo-chin."

Silence, yet again. Hanayo's mind was starting to overheat from all her thoughts chasing one another, yet they were all words she couldn't possibly say to her best friend. But the tension was at least alleviated by the arrival of a certain redhead.

"Maki-chan! Maki-chan, Maki-chan, Maki-chaaaaan~" Rin began chanting the composer's name while bouncing around, before pouncing on her to slump over her shoulders.

"What- Get off me!"

The catlike girl only curled her lips in a very feline smile, teasing, "Maki-chan's blushing again so early in the morning~"

Hanayo couldn't help but feel a sting of jealousy in her heart, that Rin was practically all over Maki... when was the last time she had done that to her? Since they were kids? It had been a very long time since Rin last initiated such contact with Hanayo; such things were infrequent once they had grown up and entered high-school. The most she had done recently was holding her hand, and that was only cause of what was happening between the second-years...

"Oi! That's my spot!" Nico yelled from where she was, arriving just slightly behind Maki.

"We can all share Maki-chan!"

Tilting her head in confusion, Hanayo spoke up again, trying to ignore the growing unease in her heart. "Eh? Nico-chan, I thought your house was in the other direction..."

"Huh? I... Nico just took a detour today~" Nico blustered while making her signature pose, fooling no one. Beside her, Maki's blush only seemed to intensify as she finally managed to push Rin off her.

"Let's... let's just start with warm-ups then," the brunette concluded hesitantly.

As the four of them began their stretches the rest of the team slowly arrived, with the second-year trio last to reach.

"Sorry we're late..." Umi apologised while Honoka smiled sheepishly beside her. "Someone didn't wake up on time."

Eli smiled understandingly at them, her sapphire eyes bearing a tinge of amusement. "Well, it's fine if it's once in a while. Why don't we get started?"

And so the members of Muse began their training, running up and down the shrine steps in pairs. It was starting to get pretty late in autumn, and the cold early-morning wind provided much relief to the girls who panted as they continued their laps. It was tough training like that every day, but that was just part and parcel of being a school idol, wasn't it?

They were aiming for the top, after all.

* * *

"Ahh we're finally done..." Honoka breathed a sigh of relief as she collapsed at the top of the steps alongside Kotori. "Somehow it feels like I never get any stronger no matter how much I run every day."

"You would if you could just cut down on the amount of sweets you eat. I swear Honoka, with the amount of calories you take in everyday, you won't be able to fit into our costumes if it wasn't for our training," Umi retorted sharply, her hands on her hips while standing over the other pair.

Honoka only pouted in response. "Umi-chan always nags at me for every single thing. So are you two coming over today?"

"Mm!" Kotori responded, climbing back onto her feet. "Since we're not having dance practice today we'll be helping out at your family bakery."

"Oh? Sounds interesting. I don't know much about Japanese sweets..." Eli interjected.

The ginger-haired girl scratched the back of her head, grimacing. "Actually there's not a lot to do... that's why I only asked Umi-chan and Kotori-chan. Sorry. I'll invite all of you over to help during the New Year rush!"

"Ah it's okay, I'm sure you girls have it well on hand today. We do have to work on our revision anyway."

"That's right, we wouldn't want to intrude on you three~" Nozomi added with mischief in her voice.

"We're just making sweets! Sweets! Let's just get going," the archer sighed as her palm met her forehead for the second time that day. Some days, it was really hard for her to be the sensible one amongst all these girls.

Over on the other side, the first-years were debating on the plans for the rest of the day after listening to the rest.

"Ah, that's sad. Rin wanted to try making Japanese sweets too... it sounds fun nya!"

"Well, Honoka-chan did say she'll invite us over closer to the New Year. We'll just have to wait till then," Hanayo responded softly. "Rin-chan, do you want to go to town with me today? A-RISE's new song is being shown later in front of their school building and I have to go catch it no matter what."

"Eh? That... Sorry Kayo-chin. Rin has other things to attend to. Rin will see you on Monday okay?" the orange-haired girl only apologised awkwardly before dashing off into the streets, even before Hanayo could call out after her.

_Rin-chan always accompanied me whenever I asked something this selfish of her... I guess she really hates me after yesterday..._  Negative thoughts began sprouting up in the brunette's mind once again, swirling in her head. Until a timely interruption by a twin-tailed girl putting an arm around her shoulders.

"There there Hanayo, let the awesome super high school idol Nico-nii accompany you instead~ But we better get going, the broadcast in front of their school starts in a couple of hours and we still need to change."

Taking a glance at her phone for the time, Hanayo let out a shriek of alarm before running off towards the nearest train station with Nico right beside her, somehow running even faster than they had during training.

"Those two really never change," Maki muttered to herself while twirling her hair around her fingers. But that was alright, she was sure she could find a way for Nico to make it up to her later. Gathering her belongings, she started on her way home. "See you two later."

Which left only the team's blonde and spiritual girl, standing in the shadow of the shrine.

"Everyone's excitable as always, huh?" Eli tried to laugh it off, but her forced laughter soon died down. "Never mind. Something happened between Hanayo and Rin, don't you think?"

"Maa, they're beginning to move towards their destinies," Nozomi produced her well-worn tarot deck from her bag, drawing two cards at random. 'The Hanged Man', and 'The Sun' reversed.

"So?"

The spiritual girl had a wry smile on her face while she put the cards back in her bag. "Well, I think we do have some time before we step in. We're not the only ones around to help them anyway."

"That's... good. Did you bring your notes?"

"Of course~"

"Alright, let's head back to my place then. We only have a few months left to cover all this material from the last three years," Eli sighed as she began walking down the streets, with Nozomi matching her pace by her side. "You're by no means weak in anything Nozomi, but you're smart enough that I won't let you get away with scoring more than a few marks below me."

"How scary, Eli-chi~ Are you going to punish me if I do?"

Eli felt her face heating up, despite the cool morning air. It was an effect that Nozomi had solely over her, and one that the violet-haired girl never hesitated to invoke.

"... Don't say things that can be easily misunderstood!"

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credits to LLSIF Wiki for the song translation.

_Let's play! A happy greeting tune_  
 _Let's play! Because I met you_  
 _It's both a sign and a miracle_  
 _I want to dream of our exciting miracle  
_ _It's starting, so come here and listen to my heart!_

The instrumental section of the song began blaring out of the portable radio placed beside where Maki sat alone, as the three girls of the Muse Radio Broadcasting team began to move around the rooftop just as they had planned for the actual performance. Rin led the way towards the right, the other two running across to catch up.

_Rin-chan really doesn't look well today..._  Hanayo thought to herself while she watched her childhood friend worriedly.

For the entire week, Rin had been avoiding her as much as she could: leaving earlier than her, replying to her questions coldly and directly, talking with their other classmates instead... It had been utterly painful for the brunette, who had never felt this aloof from her best friend. Their meals were filled with silence, yet both of them still ate and sat together. They were still each other's only close friends at any rate.

Especially with Maki sneaking off every lunch break to god-knows-where. Ever since the composer had started dating Nico, she no longer ate lunch with the other first-years; her non-committal answers to their questions accompanied by a flustered voice and a heavy blush.

Spinning around earlier than she should have, Rin took a step forward in the other direction. Hanayo spotted the difference from their usual routine a little bit too late, twisting her feet to no avail.

She collided into the orange-haired girl, the impact sending them both to the ground.

Time froze for the pair as they lay upon the floor with Rin pressing Hanayo down. In that instant, Hanayo could feel the warm weight of the catlike girl on her, so close that she could feel the girl's heartbeat pounding against her own chest, almost in sync with her own. Though she couldn't see the other's face the brunette could still smell her scent, the faint fragrance of Rin's shampoo wafting off her short orange hair.

She couldn't even feel the pain from having fallen down at all.

It was all she could do to lie there quietly instead of wrapping her arms around Rin. Given the chance, she would've wanted to just stay that close to her forever.

The moment soon passed into a different one though, when Rin lifted herself upon her hands, hovering over Hanayo unsteadily. As their eyes met, the brunette couldn't really discern what was going through the catlike girl's mind. Her eyes were hooded, with a dazed look that made Hanayo wonder if Rin had somehow taken more damage from the fall than she had.

Seconds stretched into one another as neither moved. Hanayo found herself slowly bringing her arms up towards Rin's waist.

The background music that had been playing up till that moment cut off abruptly, breaking the magic. With a shake of her head, the dazed look disappeared from Rin's eyes, and she immediately shot back upright.

"What the hell are you two doing?"

Hanayo climbed back onto her feet as fast as she could, not daring to meet the eyes of her irate senior who looked about ready to pop a blood vessel.

"I asked you two to form this group with me because I thought you two were the most serious out of everyone about becoming an idol! But just look at you two today! You've been making nothing but mistakes the entire practice session!"

The brunette cringed under the verbal onslaught. "Sorry..."

"You've been slipping up throughout! In case you've forgotten, your audience is there! Stop staring at Rin!" Nico yelled as she pointed at the stairwell door where Maki sat beside the radio, and where their imaginary audience was supposed to be. "And Rin! All your actions today have been lacking energy! What's wrong with you that you're lagging behind for every single thing?!"

The two first-years were paralysed, stunned by the ferocity of the smaller girl who seemed to tower over them at that very moment. Their senior hadn't been this angry since the time Honoka had announced she was quitting.

"If you two are serious about continuing to be idols, then put your heart and soul into it! The way you two are now, you will never reach the audience! You won't be able to make them smile, understand?!"

Nico stood there seething for a few more seconds, before clenching her fists and taking a deep breath. "We're ending practice today. But you two better settle your issues before our next practice."

Storming off, the senior left the rooftop. And right behind her, Maki only shrugged at the other first-years with an unreadable expression before taking the radio and stepping into the stairwell as well.

* * *

Shortly after the door closed Rin collapsed back on the floor with her limbs sprawled out. The energetic girl was peculiarly silent, only staring blankly up at the sky with an expression Hanayo hadn't ever seen on her childhood friend's face before.  _It's all my fault... If I hadn't slipped up, this wouldn't have... I really don't like seeing Rin this way..._

In the end, the brunette could only use the same old words she had been using all this time.

"... I'm sorry."

The words seem to have made Rin realise she wasn't alone, as she sat up and scratched at the back of her head. "No it was my fault, I'm sorry Kayo-chin."

"No, it wouldn't have happened if I wasn't distracted." Hanayo was desperate. That they had messed up so badly, it was her fault, right?

"But Rin turned around too early-"

"Yeah but-"

"Rin already said it was her fault!"

The outburst hung in the air, with Hanayo stunned and confused by Rin's sudden increase in volume. Meanwhile Rin had shot back up onto her feet, her expression close to furious.

"You're always like this, Kayo-chin! Rin doesn't like this side of you at all! Why must you always take the fault on yourself?!"

Being shouted at for the second time today, the brunette found herself rooted to the ground again.  _Just... just what did I do wrong?_

"It's been like this since we were kids! Kayo-chin always thinks she's not good enough for anything! You run away from everything; there are so many things that you can do but you just don't believe in yourself enough to try!"

It felt like these were words that had been suppressed for a long time, bubbling beneath the surface.  _Are these Rin-chan's real feelings? Does she think I'm not good enough to be her best friend?..._

"Kayo-chin is really talented and beautiful! So don't settle for anything less than what you can get! Rin doesn't want that at all!"

At that point Hanayo finally noticed the tears brimming at the edges of Rin's eyes. Now that was an expression she had indeed seen before, but only once. A very, very long time ago, when her best friend had been lost in despair after being teased by the boys in their class.

Ever since that time, she had never seen Rin cry at all. The orange-haired girl was her pillar of strength, the one who dragged her along to try out fun things. The constant source of excitement in her life. So why was she... Hanayo could only freeze there dumbfounded at the scene before her.

Rin stood there for a few seconds more, shivering with her emotions before yelling.

"Kayo-chin you idiot!"

And with that the catlike girl ran off as well, the stairwell door slamming behind her.

This time it was Hanayo who fell upon the floor with tears starting to come to her eyes.

_What just happened?..._

* * *

A few floors below, a certain pair was on their way to the clubroom to drop off the radio.

"... Was I too harsh on them?"

"No, you put on a good show."

"Eheh. You could tell, huh? But you shut off the music too early!"

"If Hanayo had done anything Rin would've just run away again, and they do need to be forced to face their issues. Though I can't imagine why Rin is acting like that."

"Maki-chan is one to talk~ You sent poor Nico for quite a loop too."

"... So what are we going to do?"

"Nico played the bad guy already~ We'll just have to ask someone else to meddle in their affairs."

"Them again, huh?"

"Who else? They are the team's mothers for a reason."


	4. Chapter 4

The sun was starting to get later in rising, as Hanayo stumbled about in the pre-dawn darkness outside her house, navigating by the dim porch light alone. The morning mist hung heavy in the air, a thick cloying atmosphere that clung to her and made everything feel heavier than it really was...

Or maybe that was just her body protesting from lack of sleep, and her tired muscles that ached after a day of practice and insufficient rest. After what had happened yesterday, sleep was all but impossible. Hanayo had pretty much stayed up the whole night, drifting in and out of nightmares where all she could see was Rin's back that got further and further away while she stood there paralysed. And whenever she woke up from one covered in sweat, all she could do was cry, sobbing into her pillow so that she wouldn't wake anyone else up.

She didn't want to lose her childhood friend. Just the thought alone made her feel like her heart was breaking apart.

Before she knew it, it was nearing daybreak. And she had to get on with the tasks of the day if she didn't want to be late to meet the rest.

Hoisting her watering-can, she began the work of watering the many potted plants placed just beside her home's door. The plants were barely holding on now as the weather got colder; the flowers would likely drop off soon, but she still wanted to see them struggle to hold on as long as they could.

_It would have been better if I had never confessed to Rin-chan... Then all this wouldn't have happened. We would still be laughing and talking together each day, without this awkwardness between us..._

Rin hadn't told her why she rejected her in the first place, but after those few days following her question, Hanayo knew it was just the fact that it was her.

Because it was her, the girl who was never good enough for anyone.

It had always been like that. She was weak, cowardly, untalented, clumsy and most of all, absolutely normal; a girl who never stood out in any way. Ever since she was a kid she had always been the last in the class to be picked for anything, be it sports or projects. When that hadn't been the case, it had only been because Rin, who attracted people to her easily, had been inseparable from her. If it hadn't been for the orange-haired girl, she would've just faded into the background.

Even being an idol she had always been on the sidelines, never the centre for any of their songs. It wasn't something she was really bitter about: Muse was still a fledging unit and as an idol fan she knew just how risky it was to put someone with no appeal in the centre. It was just her own fault for having no presence at all.

And now, it seemed like she was finally experiencing the life she was supposed to have from the start. Now that Rin and her were in this state...

_I should never have confessed!_

Dropping the watering-can and falling upon her knees on the porch, the brunette began to cry once more.

* * *

One step after the other. And another. And another.

Rin had long since lost count of how many laps of her usual districts she had run in the past week. For that matter, she couldn't even remember when or how long she had been running. All she knew was it was way better than sitting around, where the thoughts would just gather in her head.

Running was simpler. Even though she knew she would regret it later, it was the only thing she knew how to do, keeping herself moving. Sports were more fun, but Rin knew she just wasn't mentally engaged enough to provide a good match to any of her opponents. So every bit of spare time she had this week, she found herself donning her running shoes and just hitting the streets.

During the last week she had been in a condition close to that of the living dead, half-dazed from lack of sleep and aching muscles. It had been so bad that many of her classmates had approached her to ask what was wrong, since she was lacking her characteristic energy. Even the teachers had sensed her state and didn't call upon her in class, a fact she was thankful for.

It wasn't really something she could keep up forever, she knew that. But that was something she could deal with later. Right now it was just her running along the pre-dawn streets: the solid sensation of the ground underneath her feet, the cold wind rushing past her, the slight sweat beading on her forehead, the bittersweet ache in her thigh muscles. A whole variety of sensations to distract her from the thoughts in her head.

Even now, Rin still wasn't sure how she felt about her best friend.

When Kayo-chin had asked her what she thought about her back on the rooftop that evening, the question had utterly caught her off-guard, enough that she had blurted out the stupidest answer possible.

It was something she had thought about before, but in the last few weeks after watching the rest of the team, her world had turned upside-down entirely.

Kayo-chin and her, together? Like Maki and Nico?

It didn't even make any sense. The two of them were nothing like the other pair.

But then how about the second-years? They were all childhood friends too, right? Just like them.

No, that wasn't it either. She had caught the secret glances the three of them exchanged when they thought no one was looking, those eyes full of secret meaning and passion. She couldn't possibly imagine giving Kayo-chin one of those.

Though just imagining that look on Kayo-chin's face, directed at her, made her legs feel somewhat wobbly. Just like that day when she had accidentally fallen onto her best friend. It had been a strange feeling; she hadn't really hugged Kayo-chin for ages, and the brunette was just so soft, especially around...

The thought made blood rush to Rin's face, and she was acutely aware that she was starting to over-think things yet again. Even while running.

"Arrrgghhhnyaaa!" she yelled out in frustration, scaring a couple of snoozing cats on a nearby wall.

Maybe if she ran faster, she would be able to stop thinking so much.

* * *

Shaking weakly and weeping with her eyes tightly shut, Hanayo was startled when a hand placed itself gently on her head.

"You're going to drown the plants if you keep that up, you know?"

Hurriedly wiping the tears away from her eyes, the brunette turned towards the source of the voice only to find Eli standing there, wearing her training outfit.

"Eli...chan?..."

The senior sat down beside Hanayo, wrapping her arms around the distraught girl. "I had a feeling this would be the case. Or well, Nico and Maki did anyway. We're friends, Hanayo, so there's no need for you to bear this pain alone. Tell me what's wrong."

In bits and pieces interrupted by choked sobs, Hanayo confided in her senior everything that had happened in the past week. All the while Eli only rubbed her back soothingly, holding one hand with her other to give encouraging squeezes when the pain was too much for her to continue.

For the bespectacled girl, it was a liberating feeling to finally let out the issue after bottling up all her emotions for an entire week. She hadn't known who to turn to for this, the closest person had been Maki-chan and even she was somewhat aloof. And so she had kept it in, all the thoughts and feelings that just kept racing around in her head.

"It's like Rin-chan and I aren't even friends anymore... She's just so distant from me, I can never catch up to her..."

"Hanayo, what do you want to do?"

"... I don't know. I just want to be friends with Rin-chan again, I can't bear being apart from her."

Eli shook her head disapprovingly. "Hanayo... Think about this carefully. Do you want to remain childhood friends with Rin, or do you want to become something more?"

Hanayo's expression distorted in pain at the thought. "But Rin-chan already turned me down..."

"Rin's just as confused as you are. You've listened to their mini-unit's main song, haven't you?"

The brunette stopped all movement as she struggled to recall the song, dragging it up in her emotion-befuddled mind. "Yes?.."

"According to Nozomi, it was Rin who wrote the lyrics for it. And we all know who she wrote it for."

The sharp intake of breath from Hanayo was a clear sign she understood its implications. "Then why..."

"You'll just have to ask her, wouldn't you?" Eli smiled as she reached over to the nadeshiko plant and delicately snapped off one of its flowers' twigs, handing it to the first-year. "Sometimes it's scary to abandon something you've been so used to up till now, but if you don't break away from your old definitions, you'll never be able to give new life to anything."

Hanayo gazed at the nadeshiko flower, rotating it in her fingers.  _Pure love... and bravery..._

"I understand."

"That's a good girl," the senior gave Hanayo's hand one last squeeze before standing up. After a glance at her phone, she spoke. "Rin should be at the shrine right about now. We'll see you two later on, okay?"

Before the brunette could even gather her voice again to say thanks, Eli was already jogging off into the distance. Biting her lip, she headed back into the house to change into her training outfit as fast as she could.

Now that Hanayo was a lot calmer, she realised just how absurd the situation was.  _Eli-chan must have gotten up much earlier just to come visit me before practice... And it was Nico-chan and Maki-chan who told her..._

_Everyone is working hard to support me. I have to make these feelings come true!_

For the first time since she had joined, Hanayo felt that just like everyone else, she truly was the centre of Muse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flower language is a very beautiful thing. The nadeshiko flower is an autumn flower that is often used to symbolize the epitome of womanhood in Japan.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credits to LLSIF Wiki for the song translation.

The sun was pretty late in rising that day, with only the edges of the eastern night sky faintly tinged red despite how late it was getting. Or well, at least it seemed pretty late to Rin, who had been running for close to an hour already. If it wasn't for the cool autumn breeze she would've been drenched in sweat, but as it was she could only feel the lactic acid building up in her muscles, and the bile that was gathering at the back of her throat.

This was really starting to hurt. Both outside and inside.

With a sigh, Rin stumbled into the shrine where she was due to meet the rest afterwards, and supported herself by the stone lion guardian. Maybe she could take a rest here until the others arrived, she needed to get her strength back before training...

"A bit early for training, don't you think~"

"Nyaaa!" Rin jolted up in surprise as she felt a pair of arms go around her chest. More specifically, a pair of hands wandering where they shouldn't be! She should have known taking a rest by the shrine was a bad idea!

But to her further confusion, the hands simply let her go instead of continuing with their usual torment.

"Hmm, there's no spirit in you today so I'll just let you off the hook," Nozomi gave her trademark sly grin while she stepped beside Rin. "Why don't we sit down for a bit?"

"Nozomi-chan..."

Sitting down by the side of the statue that was hidden away from the entrance, the spiritual girl looked up at Rin patiently. Too tired to question otherwise, the catlike girl simply plopped herself down by the statue as well. After a short moment of digging into her bag, Nozomi produced a bottle of water which she handed to Rin.

The orange-haired girl gulped the water down thirstily, releasing a breath of relief as she set the half-empty bottle down. "Thanks nya~"

"You can't run forever, you know?"

Pulling her knees up, Rin nodded before she buried her face in her lap. "Rin knows but... Rin doesn't understand anything at all. This isn't fun anymore, it's painful."

In response Nozomi only sat up straight, and began to sing.

" _I don't know how love works, so teach me  
_ _I'm still inexperienced, so I'm dizzy and want to cry  
_ _To think I'd be watching someone this much...  
_ _Have I become a different person?  
_ _I don't know how love works, so teach me  
_ _I'm scared, but I can't stop myself  
_ _I'll try to push myself a bit more  
_ _A wind blows - I want to be swept away by you_ "

Emerging from her hiding place, Rin stared blankly at her senior.

"Do you remember? The emotions you had when you wrote this song, and asked me to help you with the lyrics."

"... Uhn."

Nozomi let out a gentle peal of laughter. "Your feelings haven't changed at all, Rin-chan. They're just buried by your thoughts."

"But everyone else... I don't even know if I like Kayo-chin."

"What do you feel when you look at her?"

Rin tilted her head in confusion. "Kayo-chin... nya? I don't understand."

The spiritual girl winced slightly, before nodding in comprehension. "Let me rephrase it another way. What if you and Hanayo-chan weren't friends anymore?"

"I..." the first-year's fingernails digging into her thighs seemed to be all the answer Nozomi needed.

"You want to stay with her forever, right?"

"Definitely nya!" Finally, a question she could answer with all her heart.

"Okay. Then how about holding her close?"

Rin felt her face start to turn red, which was an experience she very rarely felt. "I... like that."

"And you... want to do things to her?"

If the previous question made her blush, this one was enough to send Rin flailing wildly. "Eeeehhh!"

"You want her to do the same things to you, right?" Nozomi had her sly grin back on her face again, pressing the advantage on the confused girl, except it didn't quite get the reaction she expected. Instead of escalating further, Rin only frowned and slumped against the statue.

"Rin... doesn't know about that. That's weird, isn't it? Everyone else in Muse is together and they... they're just so different."

With another soft laugh, Nozomi flicked Rin's forehead.

"Owww... nya?" the catlike girl blinked in confusion.

"Everyone's love is different, Rin-chan. Everyone has a different way of loving someone else, so you shouldn't compare yourself to the other couples in Muse. But I can tell you I'm definitely sure you love Hanayo-chan. If you want to be with her forever more than anyone else, if you always want her by your side... that's love. It doesn't have to be expressed physically. How close a couple should be is something the two of them should decide together."

"... Oh." Rin slumped back against the statue once more.

The pair sat in silence for a few minutes, with Nozomi waiting patiently for her junior to speak up again.

"But Rin doesn't even know why Kayo-chin likes her in the first place. Rin isn't cute, is dumb, tomboyish, has short hair... Kayo-chin is so pretty and smart and sings really well. We just don't fit together..."

"That's something for Hanayo-chan to decide, don't you think? But that's not what you're really afraid of, isn't it?"

Rin fell silent for a minute. As expected of the team's spiritual girl, she could see right through and understand the thoughts that even Rin herself had trouble putting to words.

"Rin doesn't want to hold Kayo-chin back."

The air hung still for a few seconds as Rin struggled to find the right words to continue.

"We've been together since we were kids, so Rin knows just how Kayo-chin is like. She always waits for Rin to lead her, to bring her places. Even becoming an idol, the one thing she wanted to do more than anything else, Rin had to be there with Maki-chan to pull her along. If Rin is always there, Kayo-chin will never be able to do the things she really can. But Rin doesn't want to stop being there for Kayo-chin either... Arghnyaaa!" Rin yelled as she clutched at her head in frustration. "Rin doesn't know what to do!"

Before she knew it, Nozomi had already stood up and was offering her a hand. "Even if that's the case, don't you think it's better for you to be always by her side, where you can support her to try for the things she wants to do?"

The orange-haired girl took the proffered hand and got onto her feet, scratching at her head in confusion as she always did.

"Besides, I think this time round she's already begun to chase the things she wants, no matter what direction you tried to pull her in," Nozomi smiled. With a turn of the head she looked at the shrine entrance, where Hanayo was standing bent over and panting.

"Kayo-chin..."

"Ne, Rin-chan."

"Hmm?"

"Because you and Hanayo-chan aren't as troublesome as the rest, I've never had to really interfere with you two. From the start you were already courageously chasing whatever seemed most fun for you, and so that brought you into Muse without me even doing anything... but it feels like I've neglected you two all this time. So, I'm sorry."

At the uncharacteristically hesitant words coming out of Nozomi's mouth, Rin was pretty much dumbfounded.

"Nozomi-chan?.."

The violet-haired girl shook her head and smiled warmly. "Never mind. Go on, Hanayo-chan's waiting for you."

Biting her lip, Rin tried to figure out the best thing to say in response, but nothing in mind quite seemed to fit. For that matter, she wasn't really quite sure why Nozomi was apologising in the first place.

So she did the next best thing and pounced on Nozomi. The hug only lasted for a short while, but Rin could feel all the tension draining out of her senior's shoulders.

"Nozomi-chan, thanks nya~"

As she turned and began running towards the shrine entrance, Rin thought she saw something glittering at the edge of the shrine maiden's eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

The sun was finally beginning to rise.

As Rin took the last few steps out of the shrine, the sun breached the horizon and began casting its first rays across the town. Rays that fell squarely across a certain brunette, highlighting her every feature. The soft brown hair that fell so perfectly about her cute face, those lithe arms clutching a single, purple flower, that well-proportioned body line covered by her tight-fitting pink tracksuit... It was too much for her to take.

"Kayo-chiiiin!~"

With an energy she didn't know she still had, she leapt at the brunette, who stretched out her arms to receive the hug properly for once instead of shrinking away.

Their bodies collided. Somehow, Hanayo managed to keep the two of them upright despite all the force Rin had put into the hug, standing her ground firmly under the energetic missile that was her best friend.

All the awkwardness of the past week was forgotten in that instant, as the two of them luxuriated in each other's warmth. Rin let herself slump entirely on the brunette, rubbing their cheeks together. "Kayo-chin~" she murmured lovingly.

After the last few weeks of self-doubt, she felt like everything holding her back had finally been removed thanks to Nozomi's advice. And now she was sure that the most fun thing she could possibly do, was to be with the friend she had been wanting to be with all her life. But first she had to set things right.

"Kayo-chin, Rin's sorry. This last week, Rin was... Rin was really confused."

Hanayo didn't respond for a while, only releasing Rin from the hug and setting her down gently.

"Silly Rin-chan. It's okay. It's my fault too for not pushing hard enough to ask what was wrong. But from now on I won't let you run away again." The brunette had a surprising fire in her eyes, a gaze of determination that was even stronger than the ones she had involving idols.

Seeing the new look on her childhood friend's face, Rin could only stare on in wonder.  _Kayo-chin's starting to change... and for Rin's sake._

Taking a deep breath, Hanayo began speaking once more. "Rin-chan. I... I'm short, not cute, not good at anything in particular but-"

"That's not true nya! Kayo-chin is so much better than Rin and so much cuter!"

"No, Rin-chan is-"

Hanayo broke off as she saw the growing frustration on the orange-haired girl's face. And with that the two of them began to laugh, remembering what had happened just yesterday afternoon. When they finally stopped, the brunette decided to skip to what she really wanted to say.

"Rin-chan, I only know one thing for sure. And that is more than anything else, I want to be by your side for the rest of my life." Raising her hand, the girl held up the lone nadeshiko flower she had been holding all this time, offering it to her beloved.

Framed in the orange rays of the morning sun, it was the most beautiful sight Rin had ever seen. She let out what was possibly the brightest, happiest smile she had ever made in her entire life.

"Rin loves this side of Kayo-chin, too!"

* * *

"Ehh? Where's Rin-chan and Hanayo-chan?"

The rest of Muse had gathered at the shrine steps for their daily training, with the second-years arriving late yet again. This time, Honoka had arrived while rubbing at a swelling on her forehead, grumbling about "Umi-chan's love punches". Since it was time for practice and two of the first-years still hadn't arrived, Honoka had been the one to ask the question.

"Oh, they messaged me earlier," Eli explained without meeting anyone's gaze. "They weren't feeling well so I asked them to take it easy and rest for today."

"Eeeeh... I see. Oh well!"

"Those two have always been the most hardworking, so we should let them sleep in once in a while~" Nozomi added while glancing over into the shrine, at a certain stone lion statue.

"Okay, let's get started then!"

And just over at the other end of the shrine grounds, hidden away from sight by the protective stone guardian, a pair of girls cuddled together slept away under the cool shade of the shrine.

* * *

"Rin can't believe we missed training nya!"

Hanayo let out a soft giggle as she stretched, easing the pain in her muscles. It had been a terrible week sleep-wise, and though the nap at the shrine had restored her energy it had done little for her muscle aches. Her girlfriend on the other hand looked as energetic as ever, back to the same old Rin she was before all this.

"Hey hey Kayo-chin, what do you wanna do now?"

The brunette pursed her lips as she considered their options. It was still pretty early in the morning, but the rest of Muse had already left to carry out their own plans for the day. "We could... go on a date?"

Rin shook her head disapprovingly. "Try again, Kayo-chin! With more force!"

"Let's go on a date, Rin-chan!"

"That's more like it nya!"

And so the two of them hit the town together after heading home first to change into more suitable outfits. Though it was their first date, it was in many ways no different from their usual trips out.

Lunch at the ramen store...

_"Oh, I see you two young ladies have made up."_  
 _"Ehehe. We're dating now nya!"_  
 _"Ri-Rin-chan! There's no need to tell him that!"  
_ _"Ahahaha! Don't be shy there, today's meal is on the house to celebrate!"_

Fooling around at the arcade...

_"A little more... a little more... Ah! I missed it again..."_  
 _"Hehe, let Rin try nya~ Rin's an expert at these UFO catcher games~"_  
 _"Ah, you got it... you make it look so easy."  
_ _"Here Kayo-chin, for you. If it's for Kayo-chin, Rin can do anything nya!"_

Walking about in Akiba...

_"Look Kayo-chin, a bowl of white rice!"_  
 _"Where?!"_  
 _"Hehe... got you again. Rin's just fooling around~"_  
 _"..."_  
 _"Kayo-chin?.."_  
 _"I THINK I JUST SAW TSUBASA-SAMA!"  
_ _"Wah! Wait up Kayo-chin!"_

It was in the middle of the afternoon when they finally stopped for a rest on a bench in the park, crepes in hand and slowly munching away.

"Rin wonders why they haven't invented ramen in crepes yet... It would probably be interesting."

Hanayo giggled at the thought, though the idea of seeing Rin eating one didn't seem that far-fetched. "Ramen doesn't go with everything, Rin-chan."

"It does, it does! Rin read the other day about this egg-speciality shop in Osaka, that put ramen inside an omelette, inside ramen soup! That's even weirder than ramen in crepes nya!"

The brunette laughed yet again. Her best friend - no, her girlfriend, was always so fun to be around, she never wanted to be apart from her. "Then we'll have definitely have to go try that shop together someday, Rin-chan. And maybe make some ramen crepes too."

"From what Rin saw, that shop serves that as a set alongside gyoza and rice. So... Rin was wrong. It's possible to have ramen and white rice for the same meal after all," Rin declared while scratching at the back of her head.

The earnest but awkward way her girlfriend tried to express her feelings brought a smile to Hanayo's face. Really, this was the girl she had fallen in love with. One who would go ahead with whatever she felt and wanted with no care as to how she would appear.

"I'm sure... it'll taste wonderful, Rin-chan."

Leaning in, Hanayo captured Rin's lips with her own, the faint traces of strawberry and chocolate mixing on their tongues. It was their first kiss, but it was so impossibly blissful to Hanayo that she didn't feel any awkwardness at all. Despite Rin's initial hesitance, Hanayo pressed the advantage until her girlfriend broke away gasping for breath.

It was fifteen minutes later when they finally finished enjoying their crepes and each other's company.

"Kayo-chin, what do you want to do now?"

"Rin-chan... you don't always have to be so considerate."

"Hmm?.." the catlike girl tilted her head in confusion, even though she knew what her girlfriend was saying.

"I know you're afraid of always leading me around. But it's okay. That's the Rin-chan I fell in love with, and I don't want you any other way. If there's something I really want to do, I would ask." Hanayo had said all this in an unwavering voice, but her face was starting to turn red from declaring her love.

"Ah... So that's it nya."

"Mm."

The catlike girl shot up from the bench. "Then let's go! Rin's been dying to try out the new baseball batting centre that opened nearby!"

"Uweehh?! Don't your muscles ache?!"

"Rin's perfectly fine! We're not leaving there till we hit a homerun nya!" Looping her arm around her girlfriend's, Rin began dragging her away towards their destination.

Yes, in many ways, their first date was no different from their usual trips out. But that was perfectly fine too, in its own way.

"SOMEBODY SAVE MEEE!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand the pair finally gets together. With much fluff. Yay!
> 
> For the record, ramen in omelette in a soup was the weirdest thing I had ever eaten. If you ever pass by a shop with a giant egg decoration in Osaka near the renowned Osaka Aquarium, do stop by.
> 
> Also, my heart died today from Nico's siblings orz. And if I'm not wrong, looks like next week's episode is focused on Rin! Isn't that just nice, our poor sidelined characters finally getting the limelight~


	7. Epilogue

_When you're only trying hard for your own sake_   
_You'll just get sick and tired of it_   
_So hang on to someone's smile_   
_And open up your future together!_

"Hey, Hanayo. Do you know who wrote this song?" Maki murmured to her classmate after the members of lily white began practising the second track of their single in front of the other members of Muse.

It was another typical afternoon practice session on the rooftop, the music being played out from the radio placed next to all the remaining members who were watching attentively. It was mere weeks before their next live now, and they were struggling to perfect all their performances.

Hanayo frowned as she struggled to recall the relevant information she had only heard once in passing. "I think Rin-chan said it was Nozomi-chan and Umi-chan who wrote it together... Why?"

"I just can't help but feel that it was written for someone in particular... and if it's those two who wrote it, I guess we know who are the people they were thinking of."

"Seeing Maki-chan so concerned about the others... is kind of reassuring," the brunette let out a chuckle.

Maki immediately flushed red while she turned her gaze away. "No-Not really! I was just curious since music is my domain in the first place!"

"Oho, is Maki-chan being dishonest with her feelings again?" Nico interjected herself into the conversation. "What are you all whispering about anyway?"

"We were just talking about the song. We think Umi-chan wrote it for Honoka-chan and Nozomi-chan wrote it for Eli-chan but..."

"Ah... So you were talking about the last couple that just refuses to get together."

Hanayo felt a surge of blood to her face even though she herself was dating Rin. "I guess you could say that."

"I... I have nothing to do with this," Maki muttered as she turned her attention back to the practice.

"Don't worry about Maki-chan, Nico will bring her around sooner or later~ But what do you have in mind, Hanayo?"

"I don't know yet. But they've helped us so much, all of us..."

Turning their gazes, the two of them watched the rest of the team carefully. The song was going smoothly, and they could feel every ounce of emotion the members of lily white were putting into their singing. In the end as school idols, it was probably the best way they knew how to express themselves.

And throughout the song Eli's eyes never wavered from Nozomi, who also seemed to be glancing in her direction more often than she should be. A fact not lost on Hanayo and Nico.

Making up her mind, Hanayo continued where she had trailed off earlier.

"... I just think it would be nice to do something for them."

_Hey you..._   
_Don't you think you're doing it wrong?_   
_You shouldn't be worrying about things all by yourself_   
_There's no fun in being depressed_   
_When you're only trying hard for your own sake_   
_You'll just get sick and tired of it_   
_So hang on to someone's smile_   
_And open up your future together!_

* * *

After practice Muse split into its usual groups and began heading home. This time, the first-years were the first to leave the building.

"Kayo-chin, you weren't watching me carefully earlier," Rin mumbled with a downcast face.

"Sorry Rin-chan!" Hanayo yelped as she squeezed her girlfriend's hand reassuringly. "We were just discussing something else..."

The catlike girl tilted her head questioningly. "What was it?"

"Well, Nozomi-chan and Eli-chan really helped us out a lot that day... and they were also the ones who helped everyone else out. So Nico-chan and I were just discussing the possibility of helping them... get closer together."

"Closer? Is that really necessary?..." Rin only scratched at her head in confusion, but then shrugged. "Well, it sounds like fun."

"We have to help them, Rin-chan! It's only right after everything they've done for all of us, so we're all gonna do this together!" Hanayo declared with a fire in her eyes.

"Ah when Kayo-chin puts it that way, even Rin is starting to get excited... Alright, let's do this! Tension's rising up nya!"

"Eheh, but it's not like we really know what to do either... Plus we have that live coming up..." Even quicker than it had come, Hanayo felt the fight draining out of her.

"Rin's sure we'll come up with something nya!"

"There's not a lot we can contribute though... Nozomi-chan and Eli-chan are so much wiser than us so only Honoka-chan and Nico-chan can push them with their words... And Maki-chan and Umi-chan are much better suited to making songs, while Kotori-chan makes costumes..."

Hanayo saw the palm-chop split-seconds before it landed squarely on her forehead, causing her to squeal in pain. "Oww..."

"There you go again, Kayo-chin! You need to stop being so negative!"

"Sorry Rin-chan... it just feels like I'm just a supporting character all the time..."

The orange-haired girl grabbed her girlfriend squarely by the shoulders, staring deeply into her dark raspberry eyes with an unwavering look of devotion.

"You'll always be the main character of Rin's story, Kayo-chin."

Their lips met in a short kiss, chaste and pure, conveying all the emotions they had for each other.

"Now come on, you're coming over to Rin's place and staying the night so we can think of what we can do!" Rin giggled as she began dragging her girlfriend away once more. "Rin isn't gonna let you sleep tonight nya~"

Stumbling along slightly behind, Hanayo opened her mouth briefly, then reconsidered and closed it again with a contented smile.

There were some situations she didn't want to be saved from, after all.

**Fin.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we have it, the conclusion of the HanaRin couple. Thanks once again to LLSIF Wiki for the song translations.
> 
> This was possibly the most painful writing experience I ever engaged on because I really wanted to do it well. Hanayo and Rin are the two most forgotten characters in the franchise; even if it's something natural it's not something I'm happy about. So I stuffed a ton of character development in, only to realise I layered on the despair way too thick, and the fluff only came on at the end. Oops. ^^"
> 
> (Also, writing a dawn-themed fic was a daunt-ing task- *shot* sorry I couldn't resist.)
> 
> If you liked this story, consider leaving a comment/kudos to let me know. =) Your support is appreciated.
> 
> So until we meet again, hopefully in the next volume of this 'Songs of Muse; Songs for You' series.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
